"That you may ruminate"

  • October 2008
    M T W T F S S
    « Sep   Nov »
  • Archives

  • Categories

  • Subscribe

  • Advertisements

…On Halloween.

Posted by Steve on October 31, 2008

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

-Tina Fey, via Cady Heron, Mean Girls

As a co-worker put it around Halloween last year, “Every women’s costume for Halloween is ‘take something and make it sexy’.  Even if she were dressing up as a chicken, it’d be ‘I’m a sexy chicken!'”.  Indeed.

Halloween is for women.

Look, I appreciate the female form and its overwhelming beauty, the splendor and majesty that is seen when I gaze upon a woman.  I enjoy seeing women dress “like a total slut”, I enjoy seeing women dressed in a sexy manner, I can admit that.  Well, I enjoy it in the sense that I admire what I see, appreciate the aesthetic pleasure, and wish I had the artistic ability that would justify asking someone to sit as a model for me.  I do not enjoy the feelings of embarrassment, shame, and despair that come with paying attention to a woman’s beauty.  Accordingly, the “dressing up in sexy costumes” aspect of Halloween is a mixed bag for me.  On the one hand, I like looking at it, on the other hand, I hate looking at it.

Of course, I can’t participate in it.  There’s nothing sexy about men, especially not obese balding men.

Ok, well, what about trick-or-treating?

Trick-or-treating, is a custom for children on Halloween in which they proceed from house to house in costumes, asking for treats such as confectionery or sometimes money with the question, “Trick or treat?”


Ah, I see, Halloween is for children!

Ok, so, I’m decades past childhood.  And I have no children of my own.  And though I bought candy with intent to give it to trick-or-treaters, there hasn’t been a single one to come to my door.


Halloween is for women and children.

How am I supposed to enjoy it?

The answer is, of course, by trying to make myself a costume that transforms me into the most gruesome, ghastly, beastly monster possible come Halloween.  Or putting together a haunted house (or at least trying to work for one).  I guess maybe there’s next year.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: