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…On the Desecration of Burgers

Posted by Steve on July 20, 2008

This is outrageous. It’s also ridiculous. Let’s be clear, people: hamburger meat is basically little more than unseasoned sausage. You don’t waste expensive beef on a hamburger. Expensive beef is expensive because of the marbling, which gets ruined when you grind. So when you make a burger, just take the cheapest cut of meat you can find, and it doesn’t matter, because the grinding process makes it all the same. As for toppings… mayo, mustard, ketchup, onions, lettuce, pickles, grilled mushrooms, swiss cheese, American cheese, cheddar cheese, pepper jack cheese, Memphis or Kansas City barbecue sauce, those sorts of things: all fine. Foie grois, caviar, truffles? Desecration of the burger – and an intrusion of wealth-based snobbery where it has no business. Burgers aren’t to be hoity-toity.

Anyway, the best burger in America costs $4.25 (last I was there) including tax, and is served on the southwest corner of 35th Street and Cedar Avenue in south Minneapolis. It’s the Jucy Lucy at Matt’s Bar, and it has a core of molten American cheese. End of fanciness.

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